Saturday, March 6, 2010


If I was to look at my life right now years ago, the definition of life would have changed for me.

I've spent years doing a lot of different things.  I was a buss boy when I was 15 and by the time I was 17 I was bartending.  I planted my feet behind one bar, stocking beer, wine, glasses, ice.  I listened to conversations and developed a habit for giving others booze.  I was always secondary.  I went from one bar on Long Island, to a club on Long Island, to Manhattan.  I started in a bar called the SOHO House, which was a private members only club for the rich, famous, and up and coming in both.  I parlayed that into other jobs, then management.   I ran bars in the West Village when I was 25 and in charge of 15 21-year-old women, or girls I should say.  New York City keeps girls, girls but turns them into women, quick.

All the while I worked behind these bars I had my dreams in my tip cup.  I was selfish.  I am selfish.  That must end.  I always wanted to make people laugh.  I do that effortlessly.  I always wanted to see smiles.  I do so effortlessly.  I have a background that would prove otherwise, but regardless of the hands I’ve been dealt I’ve always kept playing.  Honestly, to this day I still don’t know how to play poker…really.

I’ve been on stage a million times in my life, but really probably like 300 times.  That’s a lot of lights.  That’s a lot of applause.  That’s a lot of blowjobs, and that makes me smile. 

All the while my family stood by me.  They called when I didn’t answer to leave me words of encouragement and love.  My siblings though imperfect in their ways, just like me, are perfect.  They were dealt the same hand I was handed, and smiled because they wanted to, needed to. 

Perhaps it’s the fact that St. Patrick’s Day (my favorite day of the year) is around the corner.  Perhaps it’s the fact that my hair is red and my last name starts with Mc.  Perhaps it’s because the last four letters of my last name are anus.  Who knows?  But we always smiled and laughed.  We all have new reasons to smile and laugh now.

Three, three, count em, three little girls are in our lives and we didn’t steal them.  The stork didn’t drop them off.  Each one of my three siblings have either given birth or contributed genetically to a birth in the last 4 months.  Isabella Rose was born yesterday at 1:34 PM.  Madailein was born just after the New Year, and Abby was born just before I departed NY.  I waited there for her, for this.  I wanted to bear witness to the thing that would go on to become the “things” that changed my family for the better.

And here I am in Los Angeles CA, after all these years of laughter and everything else that comes along with it, writing about definition of life, because it has changed for me. 

Life is about learning.  It’s about hearing a conversation from behind the bar and wondering why the words, “Yea I smelled the floor in that place…Amazing,” even were spoke, and smiling as you go on stocking glasses and filling ice trays, beer.  It’s getting home at three in the morning and looking at pictures of your NEICES and being crippled by the responsibility of the fact that they exist, and loving every second of it.  It’s about waiting for the person you let into your world/heart getting back into town and sharing a bottle of wine.  It’s about listening, with all your senses, wholeheartedly.  It’s about being told you’ve been acting like a dick and telling the people under you to do something, rather than asking them.  Everything comes back around.

Here I am 29 years old, working for the SOHO house in West Hollywood, CA.  A place I vowed never to move to, because I love NY so much.  Well now I can say with an honest heart; I miss my family, more than ever, but LA’s fucking rad.

Life is about change.  The greatest of change is that of new life.  I have three new lives in my life, and I can’t wait to spoil them.   I still have my dreams.  I still have my Tip cup.  Most of all I still have my family, and they were there since day one.

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