"Excuse me, miss? How many Sauces does this place have for me to dip my fries in?"
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
I had just stepped out of the shower this morning and i was toweling myself off when a huge fart began rushing towards my asshole. As usual, I pushed it out to make the biggest noise possible and what it sounded like was plastic cracking combined with the sound of something being dropped into still water. I thought for sure that my wife, who was sitting in the living room with the TV on, would yell at me through the closed door that I was behind because it was so heinously loud. I immediately checked my asshole with my bare hand because I was alarmed...
...after I cleaned the shit off of my hand, I sat down on the toilet to wipe myself - that's when I noticed the small spray of shit that made it's way onto the bath mat outside of the shower on the floor. I sat there wiping my ass and then had to go retrieve a wash cloth so I could soap it up and scrub out the shit smell from the mat.
It was my first of what I am predicting will be 4 to 6 sharts in 2010.
If you're going to add this to your blog, please do so anonymously.