Sunday, January 24, 2010

The Health Bill...Important

I also saw something recently that blew my mind.  Let's just say for
the sake of being obvious that certain things just really go together.
 Pepperoni and pizza, yes.  Dolly Parton and braziers, yes,  The Grand
Canyon and an extra pair of socks?  Absolutely.  So like I said I
recently saw something that blew my mind and it has to do with things
not going well together.  Let me preface this by saying I like all
races of people.  I do.  I just think that certain races don't go well
with certain things.  Without sounding too prejudice, what I'm talking
about are Asians, fat Asians.  More bluntly, fat Asian girls wearing
flip-flops.  My friend said he saw one once and it became the number
one thing to frighten him perpetually.  WELL I SAW ONE.  Fat Asian
girls wearing flip flops is just a mismatch combo.  It's like if you
saw Bon Jovi wearing a FUBU jumpsuit, or if you saw Lance Armstrong
smoking crack behind a CVS.  I mean I wake up and try to match or at
least fit the part.  Can't these beautiful obese women find something
else to put on their feet?  I give them a little credit though.  For
hundreds of years their feet were bound in concubine strapping, so
flip flops are their form of revenge.  That is fine, and if that is
the case.  Eat Total cereal, and find a treadmill.

And sometimes someone says something to you out of the blue and it
shatters your world for that day.  I'm not talking about someone
saying, "I think we need to see other people," or, "Grandma's had a
stroke."  Sometimes someone can literally make you questions
everything, but mostly yourself.  I love those kinds of people, those
kinds of moments.  For example today I was passing a group of women on
the street in Union Square and I heard one of them say to the other,
"That was defiantly NOT Jesus!"  Now I have no idea what they were
talking about, but it either meant one of them thought she saw our
lord and savior his majesty Jesus christ and was defending her vision,
or the other possibility is that they actually know someone named
Jesus.  Either way I got a kick out of it.  Another example is when I
was in the sauna at the gym last week an overweight man with a long
beard told me that he's never walked on dirt before.  I'm pretty sure
that's impossible, but if he hasn't I think he should be given a Nobel
peace prize for avoiding sediment for that long.

In closing I would just like to state that my husband and I are trying
to conceive right now.  This is my week of (possible) conception.  We
have been following all the rules. I've been hanging upside down post
coitus, drinking cranberry juice and watching bob villa.  Do me, no do
us a favor and say a prayer that Obama passes the health bill,
because if he does then I think these sperm can find my egg.

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