Sunday, January 24, 2010
The Dating Game Questionnaire.
They are actually re-making that game show from the 70's. I was in the pilot and I won. Who knows if it will ever air? Here is the questions they asked me in order to get on the show:
THE DATING GAME
Where are you originally from (city/state)?
East Islip, NY
What special skill do you have that might surprise people why you are a "catch?"
I wouldn’t say that skills would make me a catch. Characteristics would. I’m a genuinely genuine person. I care about everyone and give just about everyone a fair shake, except guys with too much hair gel on their head. That is not forgivable.
How do you find your dates--online services, friends, pickups in bars, grocery store?
I really don’t date that much. I guess I pick people up socially, mostly through someone else I know. I think online dating is ok but not for me. I’m a romantic. I believe in the power of meeting someone randomly and the excitement of having them change your life for the better, and vice versa. You can’t get that excitement in an online compatibility test. Where is the excitement in that? Go out there and find em. Loser.
Where's the oddest place you ever asked someone out, or were asked out?
In third grade I got a girl to go under my teachers desk with me and I asked her to be my girlfriend. He name was Barbara. She said yes. Two weeks later she broke up with me on the playground and I cried in front of everyone. In many ways I’m still on that playground crying.
If you were to be married, how would you make your ceremony unique?
First, let me say that a woman’s wedding day is something she ponders, thinks, and wishes about from an early age. I want to take that into account and write all the wishes she has in her head down on a piece of paper, and make as many of those things come true as possible. You get one day. You get one bride. Yes, I truly believe that, and you get to look at that smile on her face all day long.
If you've got two tickets to paradise, you'll pack your bags and leave tonight--where is paradise? Disney World.
In the style of a breaking news headline, describe your worst date ever.
I have said it before and I’ll say it again. I have had no bad dates, just good dates that turn into bad relationships.
I have a special camera that snaps photos of what people are thinking. If I took your picture while you were looking in the mirror, what would I see?
That my friend is probably the most amazing question in the world. I look at my reflection all-day-long. Why? It’s not because I’m vein. It’s because I used to be obese. I’m just checking to see that I’m not fat anymore. That the sandwich I ate didn't write my double chin and ask it to come back to town.